Tuesday, 19 July 2011

General Discussion ~ Is being Gyaru a lil' lonely?

A couple of weeks ago there was a post on g_s about gyarus and gyaru-os being lonely and, actually, it's quite true.

Most of the stuff I do that are Gyaru related are based on the internet; I use tumblr to search for photos, blogspot to post blogs & also find other gyarus, and then there's fb and msn where I can chat to Gyarus...
But outside the internet I don't do much.

Which is why I'm really grateful that I know and meet up with some Gyarus even though it's once a month. Every time I see one of my gal friends I feel really happy 'cause they actually made an effort to see me, and I do my best to put all of my effort in to look gal~ but apart from my gal friends my other friends don't really notice. I love Gyaru, I really do, but is there any point dressing it when others don't take notice of the amount of effort you put in to do your hair and make? They never say anything about it, and it kinda upsets me ;__; The only people that comments on these kinda things are the ones on my blog...

Which leads back to the post: Gyaru life is pretty lonely.

I just wish that Gyaru was more well-known so that others who don't dress it can at least appreciate the effort that we put in and not just raise an eyebrow because we're different. Gyaru is such a lovely fashion, and I really enjoy being one >3< Which is why I'll still soldier on to make it un-lonely! Starting off with going to more meets tehehehehe ;D I think that if I dress as a Gyaru more and more it might increase awareness~ How do you increase awareness for Gyaru? 

Sooo what do you think of this? Do you, as a Gyaru/o, feel lonely? What would you do to make yourself un-lonely? ^^ 

Btw, this post is all my personal opinion, and I'll be happy to hear yours! ^^ This is a discussion post after all ;D

35 comments:

  1. I do feel really lonely. there are meetups here in Finland, but they are often way too far for me to travel so I can't see anyone. u_u
    I don't dress up every day if it's really hot and I'm not going anywhere anyway so it's kinda pointless..

    Online I follow a looot of gyaru style blogs, forums, gyaru secrets and I search for inspirational photos all the time but.. I don't know what to do really :3 do I try to improve myself as a gyaru or try to find a style of my own..
    okay sorry I'm just babbling now x)
    but I do think everything you said here is true for many gaijin gyarus :D

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  2. honestly I have to say, yes, a gyaru life is lonely...
    Beside my boyfriend, no one really knows what gyaru is, neither that I try to be. Mostly I just receive weird gazes when I am gyaru like...

    So I also stopped it sometimes because.. it seems so stupid then...
    Further more my bf prefer me without make up so even then I am less gyaru...
    so just at the internet I am like a gyaru! Because there are the real one. The gyarus around my city(and those are maybe six@_@) are kind of bitchy and unkind so it makes it even harder for me...

    So yes gal life can be desperatly lonely =___=

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  3. Sometimes it feels a little lonely! Especially when your friends live a little far away from you!

    But this internet thing gives you the chance to meet great people and the chance to travel and spend great time!! ^o^

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  4. I dont knowwwwwww~~ I mean I've never been lonely when I stepped into gyaru. So many girls around me are into gyaru and i've converted some into loving the fashion too. It has always been fun for me.

    I guess having friends online works too but really sucks that you cannot meet in real life and have a day out. Be happy with whatever you have and know that your fellow gyaru friends are always there for you and you wont be that lonely i guess 83 esp when you have friends of different timezone, awesome chat partners when you cant sleep XD

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  5. @Shinibana: Yeah you've got the same problem as I do when it comes to meets >_<" Most of mine are kinda far away, which is why I'm grateful that there were some near where I live <3
    Yeah same same. I tend to doll up whenever I'm going out to a party or meeting someone, never for when it's just going round the corner shops lawls :P

    I find that it's easier to "be" a gyaru online because of the communities like the ones you've already stated. I just wish that more was happening in the outside world rather than just the internet D:
    Don't worry about rambling! It's better when you do ~ But yeah. Well I think it just depends on how you feel about Gyaru: do you love it enough to take all the risks to be one, or do you feel that you're too "lazy" to be one? ^^

    @Sparkling Future: Exactly the same here! Only my boyf out of the people who know me apart from the internet knows about Gyaru, apart from my sister (but she doesn't want to be one ;__;) . If only my friends would learn of it and accept me for it D:
    Awh dang, that really sucks ;___; So maybe the Gyaru lifestyle isn't for you because you would prefer not to wear tons of makeup? Or maybe you could just wear Gyaru when going to parties and shizzle? ^^

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  6. @Nenacho: Yes definitely! The nearest Gal to me is one that's from Birmingham, and I'm so lucky that she is kinda close <3 So yesh, I think the internet is brilliant for Gyaru ^^ But what about daily life? How would you involve Gyaru in your everyday life? ^^

    @Sochii: Wowie really? That's so amazing! How do you do it? I'm quite interested now :3 I know one person who has got potential but she isn't really into the Japanese culture that much ;__; But she does think that they're pretty, and helps me with my clothes sometimes ^^
    Most definitely! I think that I'm really lucky to have found some gals online who lives in the same country as me <3
    Thank you so much for your advice! I'm sure that it'll help other Gaijin Gyarus too :D

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  7. I really don't consider myself gyaru and I only spend time on the internet blogging or searching for photos and stuff when I'm really really bored. So I guess I can't say anything to this. :S
    But I can imagine that it is making you lonely if you put a lot efford in it and nobody notices. :/

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  8. I think it can be both lonely but also very social too. I do try my best to go to meets and see other Gyaru but I'm also blessed with great non-Gyaru friends who I've known since school etc who are so used to me talking about Gyaru and will try to join in talking with me. I think the loneliness with me is being able to have a conversation about Gyaru and Gyaru related things. My friends try their best but because they don't read the magazines, follow the brands, or really know much about Gyaru it's hard to have a conversation back.

    Whenever I've stepped out in Gyaru for shopping or meals or cinema trips etc I always get a lot of compliments; mainly on my nails, and my eyes. I dress Gyaru almost everyday, except for a few odd occasions, and I don't care about things like stares because I love being dolled up, looking great and taking pride in my appearance. ♥

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  9. @Lovepirate: Yeah it does... Like when I doll up I spend over 1 and a half hours on it, and nobbody but people on the internet really comment ;____;
    Even if you aren't a Gyaru I'm very grateful that you took part in this post ^^ <3 Thank you so much for your thoughts! :D

    @Eri: Aah you're so so lucky! Non of my non-gyaru friends know about it, and they hardly talk to me ;___; So I'm not really close to anyone tbh >_<" And then with my close friend I get scared that she'll judge me if I told her about it ;__;
    Zomg really? Awhsum! Wish I got compliments and shizzle when I go out D: But my city is filled with chavs and close-minded people ;___;

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  10. I don't really feel lazy, I feel like I lack resources to be one: gyaru friends = for hanging out, inspiration and stuffs, money = for clothes mostly.. v.v money issues put me down, but I think what most puts me down is the no gyarus where I live-situation. I wish I lived in a bigger city!

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  11. @Shinibana: Sorry, I didn't mean for it to appear like that >_<" But yeaah, I know what you mean ;___; I lack in the money department as well, which really sucks as Gyaru is a pretty expensive fashion D: Awh bless! I wished I lived somewhere like London ;___;

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  12. For me I just find Gyaru make-up and fashion much more appealing to any other. Maybe this is just another phase (from scene kids (bleh) to ulzzangs and now gyaru) in my life where I obsess with something particular.

    Although I can't say I'm one myself... I would think that 99% of the people that I interact with on a normal basis (irl) don't know what it was. And as far as I know... there aren't any other Gyaru Bloggers that live in my country.

    I do sometimes have thoughts about moving to Japan when I'm older and being fully dedicated to being Gyaru, but I lack motivation so that would be unlikely );

    Great post btw !

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  13. III really donnu haha
    he always tells me shouldn´t wear make up... I ignore it and continue to do it haha
    just my friends.. haaa
    no one understands me and some also think I am crazy because I am a fan of japanese stuff... yes Germany can be a little hard T__T Mostly at my place where such stuff is just OUT... because cute... is just childish and stupid =__=

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  14. I'm completely agree with you, and this "secret" make me a little bit sad. In my opinion a lot of gaijin gyaru feel the same. It's hard to find other people near you that follow or like this fashion life style; people that can understand and respect you.
    When I red this secret, I thought to read my life.I never wear my first "gyaru dress" that I bought last December, because of a dear friend of mine did not appreciated it, and this kind of reaction make me insecure; or I don't put everyday fake lashes, but this is my personal choice...anyway, without fake lashes you are not gyaru(like sombody says).
    Than there's the "gyaru friends" point.
    I'm happy because thanks to internet I met a lot of beautiful girls and, even if we don't live in the same city, we'll do our best to meet us(for example, next monday I'm going to meet two gals of my gyaru-sa, and I can't wait,( <3) but unfortunally we can meet everyday!;__;).

    Anyway, I'll do my best to increase my look and be proud of me, be a gyaru with the capital G...but it's REALLY hard. Not for the make up or the hair style(you can learn them) but for the need/ fear to be judged and apreciated, not only in the "virtual life", but in real life too.( Fortunatelly I have sweet "real " friends that appreciate my gyaru look.)
    I really love this style, but a lot of times I had wanted to give up(and I started only this year!XD)sometimes "be gyaru" is like "be stressed"! It's terrible!
    More to be "lonely", I think that sometimes the way that gaijin lives gyaru style is stressed:you have the need to show that you are a gyaru, and you post on your blog your outfits, make up, exc; you wanted to be appreciated and you are happy when you find some positives comments...but maybe when you hang out with your "normal friends", you feel insicure... it's really hard, but at the end (yes, I'll conclude this long poem!XD)I think that to live this style in the best way, you have to look only at yourself and find a "compromise" between this fashion and what make you conforteble with your closer friends too. I don't want to say that you have to adapt your way to be to your friends'tastes (if they love you, they'll respect you and accept you) but to find the harmony for yourself. More to watch and try to imitate the image, you need to live the "mood" that gyaru make you feel; the happiness, the coloreful life... this is gyaru for me. But, like I said, I started this year, maybe be I'll change my mind, but it's okay.
    Few months in gyaru world make me really stessed, so I decided to follow my personal way!=) Even if I'm alone and I can't see my "virtual friends" everyday. That's my opinion. I'm sorry for my bad english, I hope that it's understandeble!XD

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  15. @Juri: Yeah I think it's the most beautiful fashion ever, even if it's a lil' bit on the expensive side :P It's a shame that there aren't any Gyarus in your country though... But I'm sure that there are some hiding away! ^^
    I'd love to move to Japan one day, even if it's brief because it would be amazing to meet some Gyarus! :D

    @Sparkling: Awh okies then~ Yeah that's the same here... Although here there are many people who were lashes and things, but just not in the Gyaru style :P Makes me feel a lil' lonely ;___;

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  16. Well, before I got into Gyaru I had to cut off all the friends I had at the time because it was detrimental to the relationship I now have with my husband. They were very toxic as well.

    I can't really find anyone I can relate to near me. But after getting into Gyaru I found the potential to make friends.

    Its lonely for me at most times because I can't go out to the nearest event or meet up (its 6hrs away driving wise) because of kids or my husband's job.

    I'm trying to balance this out by becoming pen pals with other Gyaru with the hope that I'll visit them someday.

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  17. @Mashiro: This secret made me a lil' sad too, and it also made my realise how lonely I actually am and how much I rely on the internet ;___;
    I think insecurity and confidence is the biggest issue in Gyaru: many people stray away from it because of a fear of being too "different". At first I was a bit scared to do my make and hair in the Gyaru way, but now that I'm getting used to it my confidence in being different is building up ^^ I think that maybe you should just keep on practising, because before you know it you'll be confident enough to wear it very often! :D
    It's nice that you are able to meet with friends, and I have the same problem of distance ;__;

    Being accepted is another problem that I think all Gaijin Gyarus face, whilst others are just lucky enough to be born bold and outgoing. I want to be accepted too, which is why I'm trying so hard to soldier on despite the lack of attention I get from my friends who hardly speak to me ;__; I wish I was as close to them, but I feel as if I don't really belong anywhere >_<" I think what I need to do is concentrate on friendship more as I've seem to have neglect it as I focused more on Gyaru D:

    Thank you so much for your opinion! :D Despite not knowing English fluently I'm really happy that you commented with such a long post! Thank you very much :D

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  18. @Chaudie: That's a shame that you had to cut off some relationships with your friends... Did they not accept you as a Gyaru? Or was it un-Gyaru related? ^^
    You're the same as me: before I was a Gyaru I was a bit of a loner in the sense that I hardly had any friends with the same interests me. Through Gyaru I have made many new friends who share similar interests :D
    Wowie, 6 hours?! Jeez and I thought I had it rough D: That really sucks D:
    Ooh becoming Pen Pals sounds like a great idea to me! Normally I just talk to people via fb :P

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  19. Well, some of them went into gyaru fashion because they like it. some of them were attracted to it, because they were afraid to try but i helped them into it.. the others? I persuaded them into a free makeover, the end results is fantastic hahaha~~

    Well besides that, being a cosplayer and meddling with visual kei fashion works too, because some gyarus in singapore graduated from vk fashion 83 and some of the cosplayers here are into gyaru fashion as well when out of their costumes

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  20. @Sochii: Oooh okies then! I think I might just give this person a make over and see what she thinks about it ;D I really hope that she does become one~ But I think she's too individual for it :P
    Oooh awesome! So it was fairly easy for you to attract them to Gyaru? ^^

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  21. For me living in a place like Ohio I've only met 1 other gal and we haven't met up! I recently moved and at my last school there was no one! I introduced all my friends to it and they thought it was cool but of course no one was willing to do it with me which sucked but was good because they supported me so it was bittersweet.

    But you know there is nothing like having a friend to do makeup and dress up with, go shopping with and read gal magazines, yea you can do that all with your non gal friends but its not the same as with someone who can help you say "Yea thats gal" or "No thats not"

    Now I'm going to a new school and my biggest worry is that I might not even make friends because might just not like the way I look which I know is crazy sounding but I had people torture me everyday at my last school!

    I think my biggest goal for this year/school year is to find a friend and transform her into gyaru (with her consent of course lol) Also my parents don't know no matter how many hints I drop (My mom eventually put two and two together when she saw gals on my tumblr and was like oh you're trying to look like those girls??? She mentioned something about seeing them in new york I think she was talking about Kogals cause she was in New york in the 80's and 90's) My mom supports my style though even though she can't put a name to it. It almost feels like I'm living a double life without my makeup. W/o make I'm just Laura Gilbert online &nd with make i'm Lolo the Gyaru lol

    Sometimes I think about what would happen if I hadn't become gyaru (like maybe i would be more liked or more shy) But when I think about how I got into gal...well its like it was God's plan for me lol. It was pretty inevitble! And I'm glad it happened! I love Gyaru and all the pleasures with it. Its made me a better person, I've become more outgoing and bold being able to say things and not hold back but also have a stronger backbone and not care what people think and also be nicer to people and offer help when I can. SO all in all I'm glad I found gal but its sad that there is such a heavy downside such as this.

    Lol i wrote alot!

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  22. When I read this, I understood how you and many other gyaru lovers feel. I myself love it but do not apply it my style for a reason that I think many have too. Because there is such a lack... some people may just feel so out of place and don't even bother trying. I love a lot of different styles though, so sometimes it just depends on my mood whether I'd like to dress up or not. BUT, thing is, I never go full out haha But thanks for this post, many will feel that there are plenty of other people who feel this way as well.

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  23. yess i feel a little lonely sometime i have gal friends here in my own city but in the other side .. so we can see us often ... T-T and my normal friends can understand me , they say i am so exuberant . that why i'm not normal that all of them ... and that get me anger really anger , what they wan that i look normal ... pfff but thank god they accept me hahhaha but when they saw at the first time as manba .... they made a weid face hahaha and it was for photo ... but i always use this phrase : laugh of me because I'm different, that I laugh of you because you are just like everyone else

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  24. I have to agree it's lonely. I know a buncha peeps into gyaru but they aren't really close to me, and the people close to me don't care bout such stuff :S So yes, I do have a bunchhh of gyaru stuff but never use them :X in fact, i don't even wear makeup OTL , also cus i feel i'm young and well.. people my age don't wear makeup i suppose. idk :S but i loveee gyaru <3

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  25. I think a lot of us have the same problem ):
    I don't know anyone into gyaru where I live... and I have NEVER meet aother gyaru in real life. So yeah none knows what gyaru is or what style I follow -__-.

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  26. @Lolo: Awh well at least they accepted you for one, even if they don't wanna be one~ It's like me and my sis. She knows the fashion but just doesn't wanna do it >_<"
    No it's not the same ;___; It's why I cherish meets so much as I'm able to interact with others who knows what I'm talking about ^^
    I know how you feel about moving to a new school... Why not do things gradually, take it slow so that people would accept you more easily? It can be a lil' scary trying to be friends with all the false lashes, 'cause most people might just label us as "plastics" and think that we're all up our own asses ;___;
    That's one of my goals too! It'll be so awhsum finding a friend like that <3 It's why I'm looking forward to moving to a new place so much~ I can have a fresh new start ^^ Wow that's so awhsum! My parents don't have a clue about what Gyaru is as I keep myself to myself :P
    Gyaru has changed me as a person too ^^ I am more confident in myself, and take care of my image because it's really important :D

    @Christina: Yeah there is a certain lack in Gal that many do not try hard enough to improve, and just put on a pair of false lashes and say, "Hey look! I'm gal!" when they forget about all the other makeup and hair styling that's needed D: I guess that's why people don't really know Gyaru very well.. It just looks like normal girl makeup when people don't try hard enough D: You're welcome! I'm glad you enjoyed reading this post ^^

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  27. @Kzz: Ooh that's good to hear that you know some near you that you could meet up with ^^ You're so lucky... My friends are the same. Tbh most of my friends are kinda boys or people I don't really hang around with very often :/ That's a good attitude to have! Keep it up! ^^

    @Jodie: You're kinda in the same position as me in the sense that people who are close to me don't know a thing about the Gyaru fashion ;__; I think that you should go out in all your Gyaru gear and amaze the world! :D You can do it girl! ^^ Scrap what everyone else thinks, do what you wanna do and listen to no one else who tells you otherwise :D

    @Okashi: Yeah, from the comments I get here I think many gals feel lonely ;__;
    Awh bless ya! That really suck ;__; *huggles*

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  28. My opinion Lizzie is that I think all us Western Gyaru gals (or girls that like Gyaru) have always been a little nerdy, and different our whole lives from everyone else. Correct me if I'm wrong but I think we all grew up loving Japan and anime. There has, and seems to forever be, only a handful of us type of girls around.

    I myself have always been a lonely person and socialized a lot online and this is where I found gyaru among many of my other adoration's for Japan. It was always hard to find people with my same interest in Manga, Japanese music, fashion, video games etc.

    I think what we can do is to not just look for Gal friends but be friends with many types of people. Get involved with your community, school groups, and international students. When I got into University I found this helped me a lot from not feeling so lonely.

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  29. Im with @Sparkling Future and you ! only my BF knows what gyaru is it and bloggers .__. its a quite lonely yes,and more because isnt a gyaru in my city, or even state! ._. I never met a gyaru in real life, But i have friends are not into gyaru but i dont feel so lonely and are a good persons because they accept me with my crazy style xD

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  30. @Lizzy: Yeah same same D: Which is why I'm really grateful that my boyf accepts me for who I am <3 Awh bless ;___; Maybe you should try and look for some who live near you? I'm sure you'll find some soon :D Awh that's sweet of them! ^^

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  31. @Lizzie: Thats actually great advice I'll try to not make my makeup to crazy for the first day lol and thats why i was so glad to move I can start over!

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  32. I find it lonely too ):
    Yea its great having online gal friends... D: but it'd be so much better if I could hang with them D:
    I have no gals in my town- therefore very rarely see any D: I've only been to 2 meets, one wasn't really a meet, and the other was for my gyaru-sa's first metting...
    (T__T) I'm so glad my boyfriend always listens to me go on about it and stuff, and trys to be interested so I dont be so lonely, he knows how I feel D;

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  33. Agree! I'd really like to meet all the online gal friends, but it's too complicated~ :/ I love to read your discussion posts! :3 You're so good at writing them~~ <:

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  34. @Lolo: Nyaa anything to help! :D

    @Riv: Yeah, it really sucks ;___; I mean, I luuurve my online friends, but I really wished that they lived closer! >3<
    Awh dang, that really sucks D: Maybe you could arrange more meets or something? ^^
    Aha your boyf is like mine lawls :P

    @Wen: Yeah D: I'd love to meet yooou tehee~ Awh really? Thanks so much! ^^ <3

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  35. @CHIIQU: Sorry I didn't see your comment >_<"
    But yesh, I think you're right. We should not only just look for gal friends but for friends with the same interests as us... Yes there is a small amount of people that I know that like anime and the Japanese culture that I know of, which is why I tend to go on the internet a lot. But going on the internet too much means that I've pushed aside my other, "real life", friends. So I think that it's important just to be friends with everyone too ^^

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