It’s taken me so long to write this post because I just couldn’t really bear myself to write it lol. This year has been HORRIBLE (duh, state the obvious Lizzie) so to be honest I was going to skip writing this 2020 recap buuuuut I’m going to do it for old time’s sake. So, here goes!
2020 was the year I basically lost myself… But then found myself again (thank goodness). And it all started with a lovely app called TikTok. Oh, and lockdown, of course.
TikTok ruined me
I had played around with TikTok prior to this year but, seeing as I suddenly had a lot of time on my hands because of lockdown, I decided to create more videos. And more. And more. And I got ADDICTED. It was just SO easy to create videos and the engagement was amazing!!! Like, my content actually got views??? Wow. I gained more followers there in a few months than I ever had on instagram (which I’ve had for a very, very, long time). I got so addicted to just looking at my stats that I began to change the way I dressed as I realised that particular types of clothing got a lot more engagement. Lo and behold, that’s when I began to lose myself. Which brings me to the next point…
My style was ?????? for the majority of the year
Because of the lovely TikTok, my style was ALL OVER THE PLACE. I didn’t really know what I liked or didn’t like anymore and was trying out so many different styles and basically wanted to follow the trend. I mean, it isn’t a bad thing to experiment, but I didn’t feel right. I spent so much money buying new clothes but in the end I just ended up hating all of my outfits. I just didn’t know what I was doing anymore. Sure, my outfits were nice and whatever, but it just didn’t feel like “me”.
That was until September/October when I fell head-over-heels in love with himekaji again. It was as if I had gone back 10 years and had discovered gyaru for the very first time and. I. loved. It!!!!!!! My motivation returned and I was so incredibly inspired! So I made it my goal to be an everyday himekaji gal (which is going to take a long time, but I’ll get there, slowly but surely!)
I spent most of the year feeling down
I’m not going to dwell on it too much, though, but thought it was important to mention that I was not coping very well mentally in 2020. I’ve made a lot of realisations and I’m going to do my best to move forward because honestly… I don’t want to return to that again.
Stronger friendships in the gyaru comm
On a lighter note – I had started talking to a lot more gals this year and I loved it! We did virtual meets, lots of voice messages, and oh my gosh I wanna carry on doing that next year. There were some rifts over the year but instead of just being annoyed, I actually went directly to the person and messaged them to try and figure out what exactly they were saying and you know what???? It’s the best decision ever! We, as a community, need to realise that everyone has different opinions AND THAT’S TOTALLY OKAY. Just live the life you want and stop worrying about what everyone else is doing 💖
Discovering my love for cooking and baking!
Yes, I now LOVE to cook! I don’t really get the chance to just enjoy the process of cooking but, because of lockdown, I had a lot more time to experiment with new recipes. We now have veggie dinners around 3-4 times a week rather than 1! How good is that? I also signed up to a few virtual cooking classes with Sozai Cooking School (where we cooked katsu curry and sukiyaki) and it has ignited my love for cooking Japanese food!
I nearly deleted my blog
Perhaps one of the biggest things… This blog had a MAJOR makeover. It got to the point where I was so sick about feeling so down about my blog all of the time that I nearly deleted the whole thing. Luckily, though, I changed my mind at the very last minute and decided to ditch the whole “professional website” look and instead went back to my roots in blogging like it’s 2010. Y’know, pixel art and super casual posts. AND I LOVE IT. I’ve completely thrown out the rulebook and there’s now no such thing as a “schedule” and I’m going to be sharing a lot more about my daily life without having to stress about creating photoshoot-worthy photos just so that I can post something on here.
No more “little Miss Perfect”
The whole thing about me feeling down about my blog has also led me to completely change the way that I create my content, which I kind of already mentioned before, but baaaasically I’m not getting too hung up on having to create perfect content anymore. No more feeling down that I’m not in front of Peggy Porschen’s taking pics for my blog! Instead – “real life” photos! I also started a YouTube channel which I absolutely adore and again… It’s all done in the comfort of my home!
Aaaaaand I guess that’s it!
I went through a lot over the past year but instead of dwelling on it too much, I’m going to try my best to move forward! I’ve already written up my goals for 2021 (which I will publish very soon) and it makes me so excited for the new year!
What things did you overcome in 2020?
Let me know in the comments below – and I hope you have a wonderful new year!