So, I sort of snapped.
Over the past few months I’ve been feeling more and more unsettled about this blog. It was painful to admit that I just fell out of love with it. It became less of my blog and more of a website. A resource for newbie gyaru. With every post my blog was becoming less personal and I just… Lost myself, I guess.
If you’ve been around for a few years you would’ve known that back in the day I treated this blog as a sort of online diary. I would share the recent things I bought, of my days out in London meeting other people in the gyaru community, and any pictures from tumblr that I found particularly inspiring. There wasn’t really anything SEO-worthy and the blog posts weren’t very long, just things that were on my mind at the time that I wanted to get down on (digital) paper.
And, gosh, I missed that. I missed that so much.
But I was quite alone in the blogging world and I didn’t really know how much I missed that until more and more blogs began popping up in the gyaru community, and when I started reading old blog posts again. Everyone just sounded so carefree and it was such a breath of fresh air. And every time I read one of their posts, I began to hate my blog even more until it got to the point where I couldn’t even look at it.
This brought me to nearly abandoning this blog. To keep it still running, of course, but to start a very basic blog on the side where I am free to write whatever I want. But then I got frustrated. I mean: why couldn’t I do that on this blog? Why do I have to create something new?
And so I decided to change absolutely everything. I stripped back my blog template, switched up on the way I introduced myself. The words “I’m here to help you on your gyaru journey” sounded a bit… I don’t know, it didn’t feel right. Once upon a time that was true, I did want to help and I still do, but I started to feel the heavy pressure of having to consistently provide helpful content all of the time. Makeup tutorials, hair tutorials, styling posts… It all got a little bit too much for me.
In the end, all I wanted to do was to write and share my gyaru life! To be carefree again! To not constantly compare myself to the big-shot bloggers out there who were turning their blogs into a full time job and were always posting out incredibly helpful content. This blog is just my hobby, something I should find joy in. I shouldn’t have to feel like I had to post content, but to want to post content.
Gosh I rambled quite a lot didn’t I?
TL;DR – Baaaaaaaasically this blog looks very different now, and my blog posts will be very different, too. It’ll take a while to break out of the “oh my gosh I need to create professional pinterest-worthy content” mindset but I will try my best!
Wish me luck ♡