Help – I Can’t Live Without Gyaru Makeup

And in that moment I felt so alive.

I turned my face to check if my blusher was visible enough and of even vibrancy on both sides (it definitely was – I might as well have emptied the whole block of colour onto my face) and my eyes occasionally flickered up towards the beautiful lashes that framed them. Gosh, yes, it felt good. With one last slick of lipgloss my war paint was complete, and I was ready to tackle the world.

gaijin gyaru, cherry blossom, spring, gyaru makeup

top: ma*rs / jeans: forever21 / heels: new look / bag: collectif / accessories: new look

funny face

I remember the first time I ever wore makeup. I was in secondary school/high school and I desperately wanted to cover up the darker tone underneath my eyes that weren’t quite eye bags but weren’t exactly invisible, either. My friend suggested that I used concealer, so I nipped to my nearest Boots store and picked up a no.7 concealer stick. I used it everyday, and my confidence grew a little bit. My next item on my makeup quest was the pencil liner, which I used to draw so neatly (unlike now where my eczema makes it all go bumpy), and before I knew it I was on YouTube watching Michelle Phan’s makeup tutorials. I wasn’t very good at makeup, I must say, but even with my cakey concealer I still managed to feel amazing.

Then gyaru makeup came onto the scene and I was religiously wearing makeup every day until I started getting allergic to the makeup and my eczema was triggered. That phase was awful; I was so low and those months were just of me trying to embrace my bare-faced self. Luckily I was caught up in my university studies to care too much, but I felt like I had lost all connection to myself. Thankfully I discovered cruelty-free and hypoallergenic makeup, so even though my eczema and allergies still exist I can sort of live with them. My confidence boosted again.

related post: my love/hate relationship with myself

The thing about makeup is that it’s supposed to to accentuate your natural self, but I used it as a way to paint a newer, more confident self. Every time I put my gyaru makeup on I felt like I could take over the world and without it I felt incomplete. As if my face hasn’t reached it’s full potential without it. As if I haven’t reached my full potential without it. The made-up version of me is out there and having fun whereas the non-made-up me is at home watching Netflix or reading a book. Isn’t it strange how that works? How it can change your personality from an introvert to an extrovert?

Gosh I wish that it didn’t have such a huge impact on me. Like that time I was hanging out with some of my blogging gals in the centre of Birmingham, taking some quick pictures in the most beautiful bathroom (weird, I know, but if it makes you feel better it was very clean). But no matter how beautiful my surroundings were, I felt so ugly inside. I hid behind my camera rather than flaunt myself in front of it like I usually do at these kind of opportunities. My friends would say how pretty I was and that I looked absolutely fine, but I felt awful.

gyaru makeup, gaijin gyaru
ane agejo, gyaru, gaijin gyaru

I don’t know how long I’ll feel this way and if my relationship with gyaru makeup will ever improve, but (as cliché as it sounds) it’s not the makeup, it’s me. I need to be more confident in my looks. I need to stop thinking that I’m a total loser without it. I need to make my relationship with makeup work. Because at the end of the day the only person who actually gives a shit about how I look is me.

What’s your relationship with gyaru makeup like?

Love,
Lizzie xx

What do you think?

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34 Comments
  • Amy
    April 13, 2019

    Of course you should be confident about yourself always because you are beautiful, but if make up makes you feel better and more confident, that’s fine too! There’s no rule book that says it’s not allowed! And it’s kinda what it was made for!
    It’s all about how you feel! I think even though I don’t personally wear make up much, it’s more likely you’ll see me without… I would still prefer to take pics with it on! For my confidence, I just hide behind my glasses and hair, and that often that works!
    Hope your confidence keeps building and you keep on shining ✨ you’re brilliant

    Amy
    Writing into the Ether

    • hellolizziebee
      April 13, 2019

      Awh thank you so much Amy! I just feel like a completely different person without it, it’s crazy. I guess I’m also not used to having photos without my makeup… Maybe I should do more blog posts sans makeup?

      • Chloe Chats
        April 14, 2019

        I totally get where you’re coming from. I don’t feel confident enough without wearing make up when I’m out, may that be at work or out with friends, I always cover up with make up because without it I don’t feel ‘pretty’ enough. Because I wear it pretty much every day as well, the times that I don’t wear it people will say to me ‘oh you look tired today’ but I’m not tired, they’re just not used to seeing me without make up but I always just go along with it and say ‘yeah I am tired.’ I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wearing make up to help make you feel confident with yourself but as long as you love yourself for you. I’ve started to only wear foundation to go out in sometimes and I’m starting to feel confident about myself, because sometimes I just really can’t be bothered to put all my make up on haha. Great post, and I hope you can get to the stage where you feel confident about yourself no matter if you’re wearing make up or not ♥️

        Chloe xx
        http://www.chloechats.com

        • hellolizziebee
          April 14, 2019

          Thank you so much, Chloe! I don’t wear makeup at work but that’s because I can hide myself behind the screen (and I don’t really fancy waking up super early in the mornings). Other than that, I try to wear full makeup because I can’t imagine trying to take selfies with my friends without it!

  • Michelle
    April 13, 2019

    Makeup is magical! I love getting dolled up and spending extra time on my makeup. The amount of confidence I get wearing makeup is astonishing! ♥

    http://www.mooeyandfriends.com

  • Nati Macchiato
    April 14, 2019

    hey Lizzie! what a beautifully honest and important post. I totally understand what you mean about relying on makeup for confidence – I genuinely thought I looked like sh*t if I didn’t draw a huge winged line on my eyes, so I did it every single day from the age of thirteen to sixteen. I thought I looked so different and far less feminine without it, which was the goal. Then came foundation, contour, eyebrow filling-in and before I knew it I wouldn’t leave the house without makeup. At the time it made sense ( in a rubbish kind of way ) but looking back now, I’ve realised something: I’m the only one who cares about covering up my flaws, because I’m the only one who actually sees them. I really hope this gives you a little point in the right direction, because I promise you that the only time we actually * need * makeup is when using it as a tool to accentuate what we already have and have fun – not to cover anything up – because there’s nothing that needs covered up!

    have a wonderful Sunday my dear – you deserve it!

    Nati x | http://www.natimacchiato.com

    ps. your blog is looking beaut!

    • hellolizziebee
      April 14, 2019

      Awh Nati, you are too kind! Thank you so much for your lovely comment. I guess I just need to get used to going without it and maybe that way it’ll build my confidence! I just don’t feel like myself when I’m not doing gyaru…

  • Off a Small Island
    April 14, 2019

    Your makeup is looking lovely! I get what you mean about not feeling confident without your usual makeup look, I definitely don’t feel as confident bare-faced

    • hellolizziebee
      April 14, 2019

      Thank you so much sweetie! And yes me too, which is why I really admire people who can go out bare-faced! I do it for work but that’s because I’m not going out anywhere special haha.

  • Chloe
    April 14, 2019

    Everything about this post is awesome, Lizzie! Your photos look amazing and I love your honesty between you and makeup. I often feel the same when I go out though, it’s crazy what our minds can tell us sometimes. Love you!

    http://www.chloexlizabeth.com

  • Elle
    April 14, 2019

    oh the makeup looks so pretty!

    https://www.eternallyelle.com/

  • Madi Dearson
    April 14, 2019

    Your pictures are gorgeous. I wish I had the confidence in front of a camera that you have. Your beautiful, and if makeup helps you feel better and you enjoy wearing makeup, own it and feel good about it – like it is something you do to pamper yourself. Just know that you are lovely with or without it. Also, you get to create fantastic posts and pictures thanks to it, so you should feel doubly great about it:)

    • hellolizziebee
      April 14, 2019

      Thank you so much Madi 😀 That’s such a positive way to look at my situation, I love it!

  • Mel
    April 14, 2019

    You’re beautiful and I LOVE your outfit!

  • Dorota
    April 14, 2019

    I’m sure you’re as beautiful with as without make-up. I have a phase when I didn’t use any make-up at all. Like at all, nothing, not even lip gloss or mascara. It was so amazing, my skin improved and I started accepting myself the way I look with bare face. Later on I started using some products, like; mascara and eyeliner.
    Dorota
    http://www.journalofdorota.com

    • hellolizziebee
      April 14, 2019

      That’s something that I really want to grow into – to be able to accept myself as I am without makeup! Thank you so much

  • jade bevan
    April 14, 2019

    you are beautiful!!

    Jadieegosh   Instagram

  • Jenny in Neverland
    April 15, 2019

    I definitely think we can all have a bit of an odd relationship with make up, as women, growing up constantly seeing adverts for it and suggestions that you should wear it. But I think it can be an art form too and if it makes you feel bloody invincible then that’s amazing. I have no experience with Gyaru make up but as a bystander, I think it’s beautiful and so creative!

    Jenny
    http://www.jennyinneverland.com

    • hellolizziebee
      April 16, 2019

      That is so true! I mean nowadays people are speaking out more about not wearing makeup but for me, I just feel weird without it. And thank you so much! It really is an art form

  • Deborah Wyatt
    April 15, 2019

    I think we’ve all hid behind the mask of something, I’m definitely an introvert and with a good outfit and make up, and maybe a shot of rum I’m an extrovert. I will say it gets easier to drop these things over time, now I’m in my 40s I barely wear make up and I’m not as scared anymore

  • Miri
    April 15, 2019

    Wow Lizze you look so nice! I love to catch up on your make-up posts!

    lots of love, Miri
    http://www.meetmiri.com

  • Kieli
    April 16, 2019

    Loving this look! <3

    I always feel my best in Gyaru makeup. My fiance has never really been a fan of makeup in general but thinks it's great that Gyaru makes me happy. It's because of Gyaru that I was able to get much better in makeup. I want to keep doing Gyaru for as long as I can!

    • hellolizziebee
      April 16, 2019

      Aah thank you sweetie ❤️ I’m so glad that gyaru makes you so happy! It’s always good to keep doing the things that you love. And me too! I only learnt how to do gal makeup so Idk how to do ‘normal’ makeup 😂

  • Charlotte
    April 17, 2019

    Wow I love your look in the photos! Makeup and outfit too, and your hair looks lovely!
    You’ve gone through quite a journey with makeup 😮 Especially the hurdle with your allergy, that must have been depressing 😦 I can only imagine. It’s not so strange your relationship with make-up is ambiguous after all that. Society does keep showing us how we should look is something we can only achieve by caking it on right? So setting on a journey of accept your bare-faced self is nothing short of brave and inspiring! But please do keep enjoying your gyaru make when you can, you’ve really evolved your look over the years and that’s great to see!

    In the light of your post from a few weeks ago, because gyaru fueled my interest in make-up, for years I enhanced my already droopy eyes to extend my eyes downward with the natural line of my eye. But when I started working in an office, people increasingly mentioned (to me and behind my back) that I looked tired. After a while even my manager said that if my condition doesn’t improve, he’d send me home to rest for a month (without pay :/). I desperately started colour correcting under my eyes and applied winged eyeliner upwards in a rather forced way, to look more awake, I didn’t dare apply any shadow, liner or mascara on my lower lid because it would surely make me look tired. Those years, make-up became a chore and a duty and I didn’t play with it at all but rigidly followed the rules, trying to make up for my ‘wrong’ droopy, hooded eyes. I never really recovered, I am not as forced about my look as I was then but I did lose most of the joy from make-up and the pride that I used to take in my eye shape.
    To end on a positive note, shifting my focus from big eye make, I did discover lipstick and I enjoy wearing that very much 🙂

    • hellolizziebee
      April 17, 2019

      Thank you sweetie! <3 I try my best haha. But I would love to be cured of my eczema and allergies one day (but that's never going to happen unfortunately...)

      Oh my gosh I can't believe your workplace would do something like that... It just shows how backwards society is when it comes to makeup! It's so sad to read how it's taken the fun out of it, and it's no wonder that you don't enjoy doing it anymore.

      I'm glad you discovered lipstick, though! I LOVE lipstick, and tend to wear it when I am going out at the last-minute and don't have time to do the rest of my makeup.

  • Jadedisland
    April 17, 2019

    I have ezcema too! I find I’m in a constant state of self love and hate with my bare face and skin in general! I love that gyaru makeup made such a beautiful impact on your life but didn’t take away from the journey of self love.

    • hellolizziebee
      April 18, 2019

      I’m so glad that there’s someone else in the jfashion world that also has eczema – it’s such a bitch, isn’t it? And thank you so much cutie pie!