I’ve always wanted to be no.1; when I first joined gyaru I wanted to be the best gaijin gyaru in the U.K., and a few years later it changed to wanting to be the best agejo in the world. My aims were pretty high so I bought as many MA*RS items that my greedy hands could get a hold of, and for a time I believed that I was the best and that I was happy. I tried hard – perhaps too hard – and I called it the golden age of my gyaru life.
That golden age lasted a year, maybe two, before I started my downward spiral. Agejo began to slip away from my fingers and I felt my identity lose its grip. I didn’t know who I was anymore and I began to doubt myself. I loved agejo, so why wasn’t it making me happy anymore? I worked so hard to be the best but it just took the joy out of gyaru and made it into a competition. In the end I was left disappointed and dissatisfied.